I have had 2 under 2 twice. The first time was for 1 month and the second time has been for almost 9 months. As I wrap up on my last week of having 2 under 2, I wanted to share some thoughts.
The first time I had 2 under 2 it was much harder because my oldest was already emotionally a 2 year old when we threw a new sibling at him. It took a lot of adjustments, special time and attention to get him to an ok space. The second time and the 15 month age gap between my two girls has worked in our favor at first and overall been somewhat easier, but only because for the first 6 months my 1 year old didn’t really have many emotions about her baby sister. HINT it’s around 18 months when the older one starts to take notice!!
All in all it is a very hard time, physically and emotionally, but it is also really magical to watch the bond build day by day. Here are just a few tips I’ve found to be super helpful during these times:
1. Ask for help- make sure you have lots of help lined up… family, sitters, Nannie’s, school etc. Try to put the guilt aside and know you deserve help.
2. Prioritize which kid needs help first - most of the time the baby can be put down while you tend to your toddler and won’t be emotionally affected by the preference 😂. find safe places to lay your baby down all over the house -you will need to do this often.
3. Don’t blame the baby. Always tell your toddler “yes, I would love to hold you once I’m done…. feeding baby.”
4. Talk to the baby like you do your toddler (ex. sorry baby but it’s your sisters turn, you will need to wait!) and watch your toddler grin ear to ear.
5. Involve your toddler as much as possible- let them hold the baby (with assistance), give them tasks and make them feel important but remember…
6. Your toddler is still very much a baby - don’t overwhelm them with being the BIG KID - let them be the baby at times **18months is about when you can expect the oldest to understand/get jealous-just prepare yourself w one on one time…
7. So find time to do 1-on-1 time with your toddler- special dates, cuddles alone, etc.
8. Find a routine and stick to it- the first month will be a hazy blur but make a mental note during that time what schedules work best for both kids and stick to them (who gets bath first, put down first etc)
9. Invest in a good baby carrier. The baby will be attached to you and you’ll want your back to be supported.
10. Get strong-learn to engage your deep core muscles, lift weights and don’t make it complicated - your toddler can be the perfect amount of weight to squat! This will make your lower back pain so much better. I highly recommend a pelvic floor therapist for multiple reasons. First, you just had 2 babies back to back and probably need some help and second, you will be holding both of them and need to be strong!
11. Find time for yourself. You will feel physically used and abused some days, so pamper your body during that first year (massage, nails, solo walks etc).
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