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The most important lesson I've learned in parenting is who you can judge...

The most important lesson I have learned in 4 years of parenting is that you cannot judge anyone. Absolutely no one!!

I thought I knew everything about having kids before I had kids. Yup, I judged parents left and right. Oh my kids won’t throw tantrums like that, my kids won’t be allowed screen time when we are out to eat, my kids won’t wear tacky clothes, my kids won’t X..Y AND Z. It is honestly embarrassing how much I judged (and yes, I still do!). Of course, I was naïve and unexperienced. I believe, judging and comparison are just a part of human nature. But motherhood has truly humbled me, if I had a dime for everything I said I wouldn’t do, I’d be rich. So ultimately what motherhood has taught me is that not one person should be judge for their parenting. Judging not only is destructive for your own well-being, but it is unfair to other parents.

My new mantra this year is YOU DO YOU. Honestly, I believe this applies to every aspect of life (politics, religion, health, family, business) but let’s just stick to parenting for now. I have yet to live a full-life and should I be so fortunate, I think the lesson I will continue to learn is that you just never know what anyone else is going through.

I am NOT saying to not have your own opinions, beliefs, and values, just don’t go forcing them on anyone else.

Judging makes you look like you have ALL the answers. I would never claim I have all the answers or have this parenting thing all figured out!! In fact, the further I get into parenting the LESS I KNOW. And that’s a good thing because that means I am open and willing to continue to challenge my beliefs, learn more, and get “better.”

Also, judgment usually happens witnessing a snapshot of someone else’s life. You are never seeing the full picture- especially not on social media. You are getting a small glimpse into their life. The relationship between parent and child is so personal and so complex.

Next time you catch yourself judging another person or yourself, just ask if you could do something constructive instead (maybe the mom whose 3 toddlers are having individual meltdowns at target just needs an extra hand instead of a judging eye.)

Ultimately, we do what we do because we believe it is the right thing to do. Let’s give other parents the freedom to hold that same belief.

YOU DO YOU, mmk?

With love,

The redefined mamma



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